Christian Almanac: Where Faith Meets Real Life
Episode 21 Transcript
Transcript: The Messages We Send
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In Episode 21 of Christian Almanac, Jacquelyn Lynn looks at the messages we send through ordinary words and ordinary spaces. This episode explores why gossip can feel satisfying while quietly damaging trust, and how visible reminders of faith can help anchor us in what we believe and how we want to live.
Most of us know gossip is wrong.
We know it can damage reputations. We know it can weaken trust. We know it can divide families, poison workplaces, hurt churches, and create wounds people may carry for years.
And yet, if we’re honest, gossip can be strangely satisfying.
It can feel informative, entertaining, and connecting. It can feel like a way to vent. And if we’re honest, sometimes it feels like a guilty pleasure.
So why do we love to gossip even when we know it’s wrong?
Part of the answer is that gossip is not always easy to define.
We tend to think of gossip as talking about someone who isn’t there. But if I say something kind about someone who’s not in the room, is that gossip?
If I ask for wise counsel about a difficult situation involving another person, is that gossip?
If I report something harmful because someone needs protection or accountability, is that gossip?
Probably not.
So the issue is not simply whether another person’s name comes up.
A working definition might be this: gossip is speech about someone who is not present, especially when the information is private, unnecessary, unverified, or shared in a way that harms rather than helps.
That last part is important.
There’s a difference between talking about a situation because wisdom, protection, correction, or accountability is needed—and talking about it because it’s interesting. Or juicy.
There’s a difference between seeking counsel and seeking an audience.
There’s a difference between concern and curiosity.
And that’s where gossip becomes so easy to excuse.
We rarely call it gossip when we are the ones doing it.
We call it venting, processing, a prayer request, keeping someone informed, or being honest.
Sometimes those descriptions may be fair. But sometimes they’re simply nicer names for the same old habit: talking about someone in a way we probably would not talk if they were sitting beside us.
Transformational leadership expert Ford Taylor says gossip may be the biggest undiagnosed addiction in the world today.
Whether or not we use the word addiction formally, Ford’s point is worth considering. Gossip can become something we return to almost automatically because it gives us something quickly.
It gives us connection.
When two people share information about a third person, it can create an instant sense of closeness. We know something together. We’re on the inside together. We understand what’s really going on.
But that’s a fragile kind of connection. If someone bonds with me by talking about someone else, it’s reasonable for me to wonder whether they will later bond with someone else by talking about me.
Gossip can also give us status.
Being the person with the story can make us feel important. We have information. We have insight. We know what happened. We know what someone said. We may even know more than we should know.
And gossip can give us moral comfort.
When we talk about another person’s weakness, mistake, failure, or bad decision, we may feel, at least for the moment, a little better about ourselves.
That doesn’t mean we consciously think that way. But gossip can quietly feed our pride.
It can also give us emotional release.
Sometimes when we’re frustrated, hurt, disappointed, or even just confused, it feels easier to talk about the situation than to do the hard work of dealing with it directly. So we look for someone who will listen, agree, and help us feel justified.
That may feel helpful in the moment. But it does not necessarily lead to truth, healing, or resolution.
It may simply spread the frustration.
This is one reason gossip has such a destructive effect on families, workplaces, churches, and communities.
A comment becomes a conversation. A conversation becomes a conclusion. A conclusion becomes a reputation.
And before long, people are making decisions about someone based on fragments, assumptions, and secondhand information.
The person being talked about may never know what was said. They may never have the chance to explain. They may never have the chance to correct a misunderstanding.
They have become a topic instead of a person.
That’s when the damage happens and begins to spread.
Whether it’s an office, a church, a social group, or anywhere, a place does not have to be openly hostile to become unhealthy. Sometimes all it takes is a steady stream of small, careless conversations.
But Proverbs 26:20 reminds us that
“Fire goes out without wood, and quarrels disappear when gossip stops.” (Proverbs 26:20, NLT)
Scripture takes our words seriously.
Ephesians 4:29 says:
“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” (Ephesians 4:29, NIV)
Those verses do more than tell us not to say bad things.
They give us a better standard.
Is this helpful?
Does this build up?
Does this meet a real need?
That’s a very different standard from simply asking, “Is this true?”
Truth matters. We should not spread what is false. But something can be true and still be unnecessary. It can be true and still be unkind. It can be true and still be shared with the wrong person, at the wrong time, for the wrong reason.
My mother always told me to never say anything ABOUT someone that I wouldn’t say TO them. I don’t always hit that standard, but it’s something I do my best to practice.
Instead of thinking only about what we CAN say, it may be better to think about WHY we want to say it.
That’s where gossip becomes spiritual.
Gossip is not only a speech problem. It is often a heart problem.
It can reveal pride, insecurity, and resentment. It can reveal a desire to belong or a hunger for attention. It can reveal that we are more interested in being heard than in being helpful.
There are times when we need to seek counsel, report harm, protect others, make responsible decisions, or process a situation with someone wise and trustworthy.
There is also such a thing as positive speech about someone who’s not present.
Shawne Duperon has done work around what she calls “good gossip,” emphasizing the power of spreading positive stories and honorable words. And that’s worth thinking about, because not every word spoken about an absent person is harmful.
We can talk about people in ways that honor them. We can repeat what’s admirable.
We can share what’s encouraging. We can tell stories that build trust instead of tearing it down.
But that’s very different from using someone else’s life as entertainment, evidence, or emotional fuel.
Maybe part of the reason gossip is so hard to resist is that it often feels small, like it’s not a big deal.
It’s just a comment. Just a story.
Just a conversation.
But small words can carry great weight.
They can protect dignity, or they can damage it.
They can strengthen trust, or they can weaken it.
As followers of Christ, we are not called merely to avoid the worst forms of speech.
We are called to use our words in a way that reflects truth, love, wisdom, and grace.
So the next time someone’s name comes up in a conversation, the question we should answer before we speak may be this:
Are these words building something that honors God—or quietly tearing something down?
When we come back, we’ll move from what comes out of our mouths to what we keep in front of our eyes.
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What do the spaces around you remind you to believe?
Our homes and workplaces are full of messages.
A family photo reminds us of the people we love. A calendar reminds us where we need to be. Even a note on the refrigerator quietly says, “Don’t forget this.”
So if ordinary objects can help us remember ordinary things, why should Scripture be hidden away?
A throw pillow with Scripture on it will not make you more faithful. A cross on the wall will not make your home more holy. A Bible on your desk will not automatically make your work more honest or your attitude more gracious.
Objects can’t do that.
But reminders matter.
What we put in front of our eyes matters. What we see every day can quietly shape what we remember and how quickly we return to truth when the day pulls us in other directions.
Around our home and my office, which is in our home, I have several things that reflect my faith: throw pillows with Scripture, crosses on the walls, a figurine of Jesus with children, and other small Christian-related items.
Some are where guests may see them. Many are never seen by anyone but Jerry and me.
That matters, because the point is not to impress anyone. I have them because I need reminders.
I need reminders when I’m moving through my daily routines, when I’m working, when I’m distracted, rushed, frustrated, or tempted to respond as if everything depends on me.
When I make the bed in the morning, I see the verses on the throw pillows. I read them and think about them briefly. It’s not a formal devotional time. It’s a small pause in an ordinary task.
But that small pause makes a difference. It helps turn my attention toward God before the day pulls it somewhere else.
In the Christian Almanac Focus book, Live Your Faith at Work, one of the suggestions is to display Scripture in the workplace where appropriate.
That might mean a framed verse on the wall, a small card near your computer, a verse inside a drawer, or something subtle that reminds you of God’s presence, your integrity, or the way you want to treat people.
Of course, there are workplaces where open displays may not be wise or allowed. Some settings require sensitivity to policies, customers, patients, clients, coworkers, or the nature of the environment.
This is not about forcing faith items into spaces where they do not belong. And it’s not about creating a religious display for the sake of being noticed.
It IS about remembering that our faith is not supposed to be tucked away in a private compartment that only comes out on Sunday.
Faith belongs in the places where we live, work, make decisions, speak, serve, and respond to people.
That’s not a new idea.
In Deuteronomy 6, Moses gives God’s people instruction about keeping God’s commands close in everyday life. He said:
And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands that I am giving you today. Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up. Tie them to your hands and wear them on your forehead as reminders. Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates. (Deuteronomy 6:6-9, NLT)
That passage is about more than home décor.
It’s about keeping God’s truth central.
Moses was telling the people to hold God’s commands in their hearts, to talk about them in ordinary life, and to keep them visible where life actually happens: at home, on the road, when lying down, and when getting up.
That’s everyday life language.
It reminds us that faith is not only for formal worship, church services, Bible studies, or prayer meetings.
Those things matter, of course. But faith also belongs in the morning routine, the workday, the dinner conversation, the email response, the business decision, and the quiet moments when no one else sees what’s happening in our hearts.
Visible reminders can help us remember before we react. They can help us pause before we speak. They can help us return to truth when anxiety, anger, pride, fear, or discouragement starts to take over.
We need that because we’re forgetful people.
A visible verse can’t make us obey God, but it can remind us to listen. A cross on the wall can’t make us humble, but it can remind us of the sacrifice of Christ. A faith-related item on a desk can’t make a workday holy, but it can remind us that our work belongs to God.
Now, there’s another side to this.
A home can be filled with Scripture art and still lack love. A workplace can have a Bible on the desk and still be marked by dishonesty, gossip, harshness, or pride. A person can wear a cross and still behave in ways that don’t reflect Christ.
So the object itself is not the point.
The point is what it points us toward.
If the items around us become substitutes for obedience, they’re not helping us. If they become a way to create an image without cultivating a faithful heart, they’re not helping us. If they become decorations we no longer notice and truth we no longer live, they’re not helping us.
But when they help us remember, they have value.
They can also say something to others.
Every home communicates something. The things we choose to keep visible say something about what matters to us.
Faith items do the same.
They don’t need to shout, turn a living room into a display case, or make guests uncomfortable.
But they can quietly communicate that this is a home where faith matters, where Christ is honored, and where Scripture is not hidden away.
The same can be true in a workplace, when it’s done appropriately.
A simple verse in view may remind you to be patient with a difficult client. A Scripture card near your computer may remind you to choose honesty when cutting a corner would be easier.
These are not dramatic things.
But much of faithful living is not dramatic. It’s ordinary. It happens in small choices, small pauses, small acts of obedience, and small returns to truth.
This is not about rushing out to Hobby Lobby to buy more Christian décor, or creating a certain look, or proving anything to anyone.
It’s about asking a simple question:
Do the spaces where I live and work help me remember what matters?
Maybe that means Scripture displayed where you will see it in the morning. Maybe it means a verse near your workspace. Maybe it means something no one else would even recognize as meaningful, but you know what it reminds you of.
The form is not the issue. The intention is.
We need reminders because we forget.
We get busy. We get distracted. We start reacting instead of remembering. We begin carrying burdens as if we were never told to cast our cares on God. We speak as if our words were not accountable to him. We work as if our work were disconnected from worship.
Visible reminders do not fix all of that.
But they can call us back. They can gently interrupt the drift. They can help us turn our attention toward God in the middle of ordinary life.
So no, a Scripture pillow, a cross, a framed verse, or a small faith-related object will not MAKE us faithful.
But it may remind us to BE faithful.
And sometimes, in the middle of a busy day, that reminder is exactly what we need.
Remember who you are.
Remember whose you are.
And let that truth shape the way you live in the ordinary places of your life.
I’ll be back in a moment with this week’s real life tip.
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This week’s real life tip has to do with closing the loop when you decide not to buy from someone.
This is especially important when someone has taken the time to prepare a detailed proposal, answer a series of questions, meet with you, or give you the benefit of some no-charge consulting as part of their sales process.
If you decide to use a different provider, the professional and polite thing to do is to tell them.
Don’t let them find out from your social media post, a corporate announcement, a mutual contact, or some other source. And don’t just disappear.
A simple email is enough.
You can say something like, “Thank you for the time you spent with us and for the proposal you prepared. We’ve decided to go in another direction, but I appreciate your work.”
That’s it.
You don’t have to defend your decision. You don’t have to get into a long explanation. You don’t have to have an uncomfortable phone call if an email will do the job.
But you should close the loop.
This is one of those “do unto others” situations. If you were the one who had spent time preparing a proposal, wouldn’t you want to know if it was not accepted?
Product and service providers know they’re not going to make every sale. Rejection is part of business. Silence does not soften that rejection. It just makes it more frustrating.
And it creates a negative impression.
When you ghost someone who has invested time in helping you, you’re not only making things awkward for that individual. You may also be saying something about your company, your professionalism, and your respect for other people’s time.
That kind of impression can be shared.
So when you make the decision, send the email. Or even a text.
Thank them. Tell them you have chosen another direction. Wish them well.
It’s simple professional courtesy. It’s respectful. And it’s the kind of small action that helps us treat others the way we would want to be treated.
Thanks for being here. See you next week.